Some thing. That I have.
Interviews...suck
Published on February 28, 2008 By Cedarbird In Business

Since the beginning of the year, people have come to me for advice, a listening ear, and help with either homework or infromation about events on campus.  Because of my...um...ocd, I know these things.  Not because I like to get involved on-campus, but because I like to be informed.  Anyway, with all of this I have been encouraged since last fall to apply to be a resident assistant for next fall.

I got into it.  I thought it would be a good idea.  Now I REALLY want this job.

It's a chance to do what I have been doing, to be a mentor, an example, and a friend. 

It helps that RA's also get their housing and meal plans paid for.

Also, in light of my experiences with, um, medical...things, I am also familiar with the campus Wellness Clinic, the local InstaCare, and basic first aid.  We've already discussed this part...

http://cedarbird.joeuser.com/article/167035/Stupid_Stupid_stupid_stupid

http://cedarbird.joeuser.com/article/300721/All_Yalls_better_read_this_one

I needed to convince "them."  The interviewers.  Now realize that I've never really interviewed before.  My job at the bank was easy because the people knew me already.  I wasn't GIVEN the job, but I had the "know who."  My custodian job is a given..."are you willing to wake up at six?"  "sure," "okay, you're hired."

 

Easy.  Not so with this one.  Tell me if this is a normal interview question:  "If you were on an island with no chance of escape, what would you bring and why?"

          A gun.  (gasp from them) to shoot me some food-stuffs.  Matches, to cook my food.................and........(this is where I went terribly, terribly wrong)...a computer, with magical internet, to email my friends to come and get me.

 

Later:  "If you were a shoe, what type would you be and why?"

          I nearly said my hooker boots just to see how they would react, but I decided on my old cross trainers.  Because, "they, like me, are dependable, comfortable, useful, and will never let you down."  I thought that was a good one.

The worst was "Tell us a little about yourself."  Crap.  I totally had no idea what to say.  I talked about my major, my previous job, and where I was from.  And that's it.

 

I fail at life.  I know I didn't get it.  I suck, I suck, I suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I had a panic attack, hyperventilation, rapid heartbeat, panicy mind...it was not fun.

Doesn't help that my best friend keeps mentioning how they were talking to one of his references, and how more girls applied than guys,,,I'm THIS close to exacting revenge for all the crap he put me through this year, just for comments like those.  And I've told him as much.  Grr.  I SUCK!!!


Comments (Page 2)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Mar 03, 2008
What the hell does 'what type of shoe would you be' have to do with the skills needed for the job?


Unfortunately the correct response is not, "The one that's going to be up your ass if you keep asking these stupid fucking questions!"



~Zoo
on Mar 03, 2008
What the hell does 'what type of shoe would you be' have to do with the skills needed for the job?


I don't know! Maybe it was to find out about my personality??? Whatever. I still want the job. Free housing, free meal plan, and the experience will definitely be worth it. Or so I'm told.
on Mar 03, 2008
I don't know! Maybe it was to find out about my personality??? Whatever


To weed out the sociopaths.

"What kind of shoe would you be?"
"A death shoe"
"Well thanks for coming in..."

~Zoo
on Mar 03, 2008

You like to act?

Treat the interview like an ad lib acting session.....have a character all made up in your head before you arrive (the character being the best you of course) and then ad lib.

Interviews are alike acting in a stageless theater.  Right there among the audience.

on Mar 03, 2008

have a character all made up in your head before you arrive (the character being the best you of course) and then ad lib.

We wantsss our job, don'tsss we precious?  Yesss, we'd likesss to be the RA...precious.  *gollum*

I'm here all week people, the jokes just keep coming.

~Zoo

on Mar 04, 2008
"What kind of shoe would you be?"
"A death shoe"
"Well thanks for coming in..."


  

"What kind of shoe would you be?"
"A shoe-in for the job"
on Mar 04, 2008

"What kind of shoe would you be?" "A shoe-in for the job"

...

Okay, that's pretty funny because it's so corny.

~Zoo

on Mar 04, 2008
Okay, that's pretty funny because it's so corny.


  

Unfortunately for Rose, she has to hear a hundred of those a day.   
on Mar 04, 2008
Unfortunately for Rose, she has to hear a hundred of those a day.


Heh, as long as you're aware of its inherent corniness then it's not so bad. I throw a few out there once in awhile for a chuckle.


The problem is when someone thinks it's genuine hilarity...then it's a little hard to take.

  

~Zoo
on Mar 04, 2008

LOL!  Oh CB, you're too much!LOL!  I really hope you do get that job, you would be perfect!  You can kill them with your SOH (sense of humor)!

on Mar 04, 2008
You can kill them with your SOH (sense of humor)!


There's that whole sociopath thing again though...death is probably not the best way to get me a job...

But hey, if I kill the competition, maybe that will leave it wide open for me???

Now you have me thinking...way to go. This can only end in tears...
on Mar 04, 2008
Smash Bros. Melee Tournament for the job. That's the only way this could end.
on Mar 04, 2008
But hey, if I kill the competition, maybe that will leave it wide open for me???

You don't have to kill them just introduce them to Concussion Boy.   
on Mar 04, 2008
You don't have to kill them just introduce them to Concussion Boy.


Ooh...good point. He's applying for the job, too...this could work.

(Plan starting to form in my little, broken head...)

(devilish laugh)

(rubbing my hands together in an evil fashion)

"Yes, yes, yes! It will work! I will win!"
on Mar 04, 2008
You don't have to kill them just introduce them to Concussion Boy.


CONCUSSION BOY SMASH HEADS!

CEDARBIRD GET JOB!

I CRACK HER HEAD TOO!

~Zoo
3 Pages1 2 3