At least, I THINK that's how the song goes, I've never understood it completely.

Okay.  I'm ready.  I think.

There is a book.  A magic book.  It tells you all about how to love other people.  And how they love you.  And it's better than a horoscope, 'cause it's right.  It tells you that you have a special way of showing your love for others.

This magical book is called "The Five Love Languages."  Or something like that.  Okay, so I've never actually read it, but I've heard about it.  Anyway, I've been thinking about this book over the summer.  Too much thinking time, I guess.

1.  Quality time--I think this one is my love language.  You spend time with me, and actually WANT to be with me, and I'm your best friend.

2.  Touch--I'm a touchy person too, I guess I have more than one.

3. Service--Doing things for others.  You know.

4. Spoken word---Saying it.  For real.  Out loud.

And finally, to my point, which is that I figured out my mother's this summer.

5. Giving gifts---Over the past few weeks, my mother has spent HUNDREDS of dollars on me.  You know, for apartment stuff.  Grills, waffle makers, pots, pans, today I got new sheets.  She's buying me off with nice things, I can tell.  And am I complaining? 

The answer is a resounding: NO!

The sick part is that it's working.  She's a good mommy.  As long as we don't speak.  But that's a discussion for another day.  About four months ago.

Ah, love languages.

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By the way.  Joe User?  Boring now.  Really, really boring.  You guys are just not interesting anymore.  Everything you write is just...old.  Been there, done that sort of thing.  I'm not creative enough to do it, but SOMEBODY needs to take the initiative and make JU good again.

Please?